Something that occurred to me yesterday was that I had not thanked Trevor, my stalwart Director of Media Relations, for constantly delivering stuff and grinding through a job that is, frankly, full of constant rejection and deliverables of documents that you spend hours on and then the client says “cool, thanks,” and you never deal with them again. I thanked him and realized I need to do that more to everyone around me.
It’s really easy in any management position to just constantly demand stuff and keep demanding stuff without taking the time to say thank you to someone, which I did today, and felt awful not having done so sooner. And it’s easy to get wrapped up in the stress of everything and only communicating the stress and the bad feelings that we have, and in particular this newsletter seems to be oftentimes a lot more negative than I always intend, probably as a result of the “if it bleeds it leads” mantra that I seem to have unconsciously adopted.
We are all in a lot of stress right now, even those of us who for example should be very grateful for the lives we have (me) and it is hard to sit back and actually look at stuff that is going on and only see the negative, and only see the road ahead versus the road trodden. And, in particular, it’s tough to remember to thank people who are consistently there for you and are great and do great things, or hell, even those who just consistently do the right/good thing. I’ve got intense wife guy energy here, but I really should thank my wife more (who does not read this newsletter, or Twitter, or anything I post on really, which is wonderful) who does more than simply put up with my shit, but actually wants me to be happy and does everything she can to do so.
I want to add that this is not me chiding someone for being negative (other than myself) - we’re all going through a ton of shit right now, and it’s totally fine to be negative all the time, because things suck, and they’re bad, and it sucks. Your problems and pain are very real, and I am speaking for my own self, and not doing a “you should be more grateful” thing. I hate that shit!
I’m just saying thank you to people who read this, or who listen to me whine, or are nice to me, or are supportive to me. People who continually work hard to help me (like my buddy Kasey who has basically DM’d me after reading every single one of these with feedback, who is a wonderful and caring friend who has been there at both my worst and my best) without asking for anything in return. I am so grateful. It is hard to communicate this gratitude sometimes because I get so wrapped in the negativity spirals of my life - as we all do! - and sometimes it just takes a moment of clarity. I am going to try and thank people more directly for the things they do for me and genuinely take the effort to remind people how important they are to me. Hell, my clients are great to me too. I’m lucky. Thank you to them too. All I really am saying is that I need to do better, not you.
No this is not something that ends with me doing anything different or mending my ways beyond saying thank you to people privately, and I am now daunted by the feeling that I should literally list who I’m thankful for, which I won’t do, and you will have to forgive me for, because whatever man, I don’t know, Johan Kevin Phil uhhh Ian Steve uhh whoever else uhh I am sorry I am so sorry.
But for real, it’s tough for me to remember to straight up say thanks to people for stuff, and I am really trying to do that more. I’m grateful even for the haters and losers who choose to chide me for making extremely poorly-worded and researched statements online. It’s what I wake up for in the morning.
I am endlessly grateful for everything that I am given, and that is done for me, and for those around me, in general and specifically. I have put a lot of negativity and criticism into the world, and will probably continue to do so, but somewhere within my rotten ass is genuine thanks for everything. I am very lucky to have you as readers, and those close to me, and everything I have.